Happy Hour till Close

"Looking In, Looking Out" Mixed Media on Canvas 60x48 2015





“I’m still in love with her.”

Jack nodded, it was a rant that he heard about 100 times before. “I know man.”

“You don’t understand, Jack. I messed up. It was my fault.”

“Well, at least you can admit it.”

“I’m going to get her back.”

“How do you suppose you’re going to do that Sam? That’s not how that works. She left you man.”

“I’ll wait for her. I’ll do anything for her” Sam said as he pulled at the last of his beer. They had been drinking since happy hour and Sam showed it. His face was sallow and he was in the same work clothes that he had been wearing all week. He looked like a sad puppy dog that had been kicked one too many times.

“You think I don’t understand? After all that bullshit that just went down with me and Suzy?” Jack paused for a moment. “Listen… it happens to everybody, it’s not like you’re the first person to have ever been hurt. It’s not easy. I know, but you’ve got to pull it together.”

“You’re a different type of person than I am Jack. You’re okay being single and dating around. You’re good with girls. I’m different. I’ll never get a girl like her again.”

“Well that’s exactly your problem, if that’s your attitude about things, things will never get better.

They were sitting at the back corner of their neighborhood bar in the Richmond. They both worked corporate jobs and although they both ended their relationships recently, Jack was doing quite a bit better than Sam. They met in grad school and moved in together afterwards, both worked in tech and were bachelors in their 30s.

Jack was a single child, the only son and spoiled with attention from birth. Life of the party and social he was everything Sam was not. Sam was from a middle class family with 3 siblings, shy, reserved and hard working, he had always been more bound to work and studies.

Sam got up from his seat wobbly.

“I’m going to use the pisser.”

“Don’t you fucking call her man.”

“I’m not going to call her. Can you get me another round?”

“Yeah.”

Jack walked over to the bar.

“Hey Sally, can we get another round?”

“Yeah sure Jack, how’s Sam doing?”

“Not too great, I can’t get his mind off things.”

“I saw his girl in here last weekend with a group of boys.”

“Well make sure you don’t go telling him that. Better yet, it might be time for us to find another bar.”

“You still seeing Suzy?”

“No we broke up, you want to go out with me tomorrow?”

“Don’t be a fool Jack.”

Jack walked back to the seats with the beers where he found Sam on his phone.

“Are you texting her?”

Sam didn’t answer.

“Jesus, put the phone away.”

Sam put his phone down, his eyes were red and he muttered thanks as he grabbed a beer from Jack.

“Remember the time back in school when we were dating those two girls on Shasta?”

“Yeah I remember” Sam replied with a faint smile. “Those were good times weren’t they?”

“We never called them before 12 and they always made us food, smoked us out and let us crash.”

“You still talk to Anna?”

“No last I heard she was married with a kid. Dorothy?”

“Nah, not since school. You ever think about past girls?”

“Yeah of course I do, I definitely miss Suzy’s body….”

“Not like that, like I mean do you ever wish you would have settled down with one of them?”

Jack thought for a moment. “No never really. Not like that. Things end for a reason don’t they? Sometimes things just don’t work out. Can I imagine myself with a wife and kids right now? Absolutely not. They were great girls, but I’m happy with being by myself. There’s so much I still want to do and having a girlfriend, much less a wife or kids would definitely put an end to that.”

“I wanted to marry her Jack. I was prepared to ask her parents.”

“Well, things didn’t work out that way did they?” Jack said exasperated. “Look Sam, she was a great girl and she was a lot of fun and smart with a great job and all that. But fuck her man. Fuck her. She’s gone and the sooner you accept that fact and move on. The better it will be for you.”

“Stop, just stop.”

“I love you man, I just don’t think you should put yourself through this over and over again.”

Sam rubbed at a vertical scar on the inside of his right forearm. They both sipped at their beers in silence for a few minutes. Both knowing that their stances on the subject were vastly different and that no matter how hard either tried to convince the other, they would stand their ground.

“Are you alright Sam?”

“Yeah I’m alright.”

“Time heals everything.”

“That’s cheesy, Jack.”

“It’s true, however you feel about it.”

Sam thought for a moment before he spoke. “Sometimes when I’m driving, I just want to swerve the car hard into oncoming traffic.”

“What the fuck man.”

“It’s not like I would actually go through with it. It’s just a thought that runs through my brain sometimes.”

“Don’t say shit like that.”

“I didn’t mean it.”

"You just can't go about saying things like that."

"I was just joking."

“Sam I don’t want to go through what happened in December again.”

“That will never happen again.”

“I don’t want to have to see you do that again Sam. Listen to me. You’ve got a lot going on for you. You’ve got your dream job, we’re making stupid money, and we live in this beautiful city… a lot of people care about you.”

“It was just that one time.”

“Promise me that it won't ever happen again”

“I promise.”

"Promise?"

"I said I promise."

“Damnnit Sam. There’s more to life…” Jack didn’t finish his sentence.

They sat through the rest of their beers in silence, knowing that nothing had been resolved and nothing was ever going to be the same again.