I've been on a terrible bender lately. It started about two weeks ago when my curator and gallery owner came in for my midpoint review. It went well and a little after that, I found out that I got into my top choice for grad school. It's probably the worst time to start relaxing and taking things easy. I've been falling back into my old vices a bit hard and going out and meeting women. And it's really been nice, knowing that I'm not some old, over the hill loser. When I really count it down, I've only got a solid month left of painting left and I'm starting to worry that if I keep up all this carousing I won't be able to finish up quite in time.
I want to be off in a far off remote island. With white sand and warm waters. Drowning myself in rum and exotic women. Waking up and not caring about the day or time. Simply just giving into every whim and fleeting fancy. Sometimes I think that maybe that I'm meant to be alone forever. That it's better for everyone that way. I still want a kid though, shit maybe two. But I don't think I can be with anyone forever. It's just not possible. I want adventure. I want new beginnings. And maybe that's all there will ever be.
