it was the very last time i was going to see her. we made promises that it wouldn't be, but you know how those things go. days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years, but i suppose it really doesn't have to be a bad thing.
we had met at a friend's birthday years back and hit it off over some cocktails. we didn't really see each other seriously until much later, but we cruised into it hot and heavy. it was that love like molasses, deep and heavy. thick to the touch and and all encapsulating. we drank each others worlds and were happy to be lost together. two kids with no fore or hindsight, just a dangerously addictive need for the other.
we promised so many things to each other. so many trivial things. so dependent on each other that we would go through withdrawals when the other was away. we moved in together pretty quickly. we played house and things were nice because we felt like it made us adults, living together and sharing things. her cooking, me taking out the trash, her decorating the house, me sorting out the bills. we grew together and forgave each other's mishaps and bad habits. maybe forgave is too strong a word, overlooked.
we never thought that things could fade. we thought that we would stand the test of time, that we were different from every other couple. in our minds our love was as great as those remembered in the annals of time. how young and naive we were.
those little overlooked mishaps and bad habits turned to belittling comments and sardonic quips. we snapped at each other, forgetting what it was that had brought us together. and soon we were at each other's throats, trying to tear the other to pieces. we broke each other down from the inside out. so much for love. so much for forever.
like everything in this world, nothing lasts forever. i knew it was the end and so did she. we just didn't want to mutter the words. we were scared to lose everything that we knew. all the time we had been together. this little world we had created. an end of an era.
she said she needed to get out. that she was going to move back with her mom. just for a little while. that it was just the break we needed to clear our heads. to maybe work it out with some space. "they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder" she said. her beautiful lies. and i ate them up.
we cried and cried and wouldn't let each other go, but it was for the very best and we both knew so in our hearts. i guess i just made it out like she was just gonna take a little vacation. that she would be back in a little while and things would be good again. like a drug addict going off to rehab. but i was wrong.
she packed up and i dropped her off at the train station. she kissed me before she got out of the car and looked at me with sad, sad eyes. i could feel myself welling up. she turned to leave and made her way to the platform. she turned around one last time before the staircase and made a heart with her hands and mouthed "i love you" with the last smile she could muster.
it was the very last time i was going to see her. we made promises that it wouldn't be, but you how those things go. days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, and months turn into years, but i suppose it really doesn't have to be a bad thing.
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