Iron Man

I distinctly remember watching the movie Iron Man, but not because that it was anything spectacular or because I have any sort of affinity for the character. It was about 2 am after a night of drinking, I was sitting alone on my buddy Matt's couch in Oakland and the movie was on. It was Matt's birthday party, a low key ordeal, just lots of natty ice, shots of tequila, and a few close friends. I arrived around 6 pm and pretty much everyone else was already hammered from playing edward 40 hands earlier during the day and I was playing catch up as usual.

It was just another party, people getting rowdy, Matt was really drunk and kept trying to fight this guy he didn't really like and when I intervened he cold clocked me in the jaw and I reciprocated with an uppercut to his mouth. I gave him a gash on the tongue that didn't quit bleeding until the next morning, but at least he stopped being fighty. People started wrestling after the pizza was finished and quite a few people got put to sleep. You know, just a regular saturday night bender. 

There wasn't really anything quite interesting until I met Paul. He was with his girlfriend Andrea. They were swingers. I have never met swingers before, or at least never ones that were quite so open about it as they were. Paul fondly referred to it as "playing in the swings". Like any other hobby enthusiast, there is an order to these things, how you get introduced and eventually drawn into such a world. For Paul it was watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show when he was 17. "For me it opened up avenues to be free spirited, it was an alternative lifestyle. You put on costumes and danced around and have fun, it doesn't embarrass me at all, it's just sex, it's just pleasure" he says with a wink while Andrea gives a coy smile and rolls her eyes.

Paul is of Navajo and Mexican descent, stocky in build with a gregarious laugh. He was friendly with everyone. He practiced traditional purification rituals in sweat lodges up to the age of 20. "I believe in a pagan sensibility, you just do what you think is right and don't obstruct in any other people's belief's".  I was quite intrigued by it all, it was something that I had never known or encountered. After awhile Andrea left to banter with other guests and I stuck around to ask Paul some more questions.

"So Andrea is cool with everything? You guys don't get jealous or anything?"

"I think I'm more monogamous than anything. I just accept experiences if they come around. I don't need to be in a group to be a swinger, I would consider myself more of an enthusiast.  People join clubs for a reason. There's huge internet groups such as Adult Friend Finder and secret mailing lists, but I don't need all that. Quality of a good time is what drives me to do these things. I've had girlfriends who weren't into this sort of thing and that's cool too. I don't really seek out this sort of behavior, I think it is more so of who I am. I'm just open about what goes on and that definitely puts me into that sort of crowd."

(As a side note you should really read this article on Adult Friend Finder written by Holy Taco. http://www.holytaco.com/we-join-adult-friend-finder-see-what-its-all-about )

"Ground rules?"

"I don't like having sex with strangers. We usually meet or know the people before anything happens. It's better to know someone before you have sex with them. Condoms are a must. We basically discuss the rules before anything happens, but sometimes they just happen organically," he says while surveying the crowd. "As far as concrete rules, no one can come in my girlfriend or in her mouth. And you know, everyone has their own personal little quirks when it comes to sex, no kissing, no touching the asshole, things like that."

"Ever have a horrible experience?"

"It's just like having sex, even if it's bad, it's still sex and sex is always good. As far as a horrible experience, I don't think I've ever had one. It's mostly sometimes people feel awkward about it after the ordeal in the morning."

I was reminded of Brave New World. 

"Alcohol is usually involved to loosen things up, but I've done it sober, it's just supposed to be fun. It's a party."

Afterwards, we traded fighting stories and I learned how he got the long lacerations on a his hands. As the night continued forth, the alcohol dwindled and at some point someone went on a run and the party got a second wind. Matt came up to me and told me how this girl, Brett, he had been seeing occasionally had just given him a blowjob in the bathroom. But as all soirees go, it slowly dwindled and soon it was just Paul and Andrea, Matt and Brett, two other guy friends and me. 

There was a secret stash of Bud Lights and I help myself to them, mostly waiting for people to leave so I could sleep on the couch. That's when I put on Iron Man. Matt and Brett were making out in the hallway and I see Andrea approach them. Andrea and Brett start making out. Matt, Brett, Andrea make their way into Matt's room, the door closes. Minutes pass, Paul comes back from smoking a cigarette outside and asks me where Andrea's gone, I point to the closed door. He goes up and knocks, they let him in. I'm still somewhat watching the movie with the two other dudes and I can see them keep making sidelong glances at the closed door.

Finally, one of them gets up and goes to the door, he knocks, and lets himself in. No objections can be heard. I continue watching the movie and sipping on my beer. The one other guy that is left with me in the living room, Ryan something or other, starts getting real fidgety. "I wonder what they're doing in there?" he asks me, but I don't think he was really expecting an answer. A couple of minutes pass. "Do you think I should go in?" I shrug. He is totally fixated on the door. "Fuck it, I'm going in."

He too goes up to the door, knocks, and lets himself in. 

"What the fuck."

"Dude get out."

"I'm just gonna sit in the corner and watch."

"Damnnit."

A few more minutes pass. Tony Stark is trying on his new combat suit on the screen. There is a shuffle of bodies and the girls are getting audibly upset. "Fuck" someone yells. The door swings open and people come tumbling out. There's is not a happy face among the crowd, one of the girls looks like she has been crying. There isn't much talk after that and Paul and Andrea leave. Brett and Matt go back into the room and one of the other guy's crashes on the other remaining couch. 

I meet Paul again a few months later at one of my art shows and we recall the moment. 

"You remember when you asked me what the worst experience I ever had was? That was it" he says with a grin. "Having a party is one thing, but I'm not just gonna let other dudes run a train on my girlfriend." I laugh with him. I still can't remember what the hell happened at the end of Iron Man, but I don't think I can ever really watch that movie without an unobstructed view.